Pajama Library

It's official...back in the saddle

2011-08-20T18:36:00.006-06:00

After several years and a life going in quite a number of directions, I have FINALLY re-centered and am back to sunrise hiking to the top of Green Mountain. I am less rigid than I was in the previous go-round. Some days, I don't hit the trail until just before sunrise (or even AFTER sunrise). I have yet to make it to the top by sunrise. On early days, I am at the tower by sunrise. None of this phases me as I am back in my element. The lighting, the colors, the company, the enormous feeling of well-being and the great endorphin highs are making me feel on top of the world. It is amazing how such a little hike (~3 miles RT and maybe~1000 ft elevation gain) can turn a life around.

About a month ago, I had a chance encounter with someone who sparked me to start back. It has to do with wanting more out of life and knowing that being in good physical shape is an integral part of it. If you have ever been an athlete or something akin to that, you know the feeling that exercise generates. It is a love affair that generates its own energy which in turn, makes you want to continue. Call it what you want, if you can get over that threshold, you won't want to stop. I have tried going to the gym and it just isn't the same. I get far more out of my sunrise hikes than physical conditioning. There is a spiritual side that is so intense that words to describe it are nearly impossible to find.

As before, there is a camaraderie with some of the other souls out at this time. You can tell by the knowing smile on their faces as we pass each other. It is as if we share a special secret, a special key to feeling good. We know we have found a treasure and we are more than willing to share it.

my relationship with photography

2011-05-28T09:02:00.005-06:00

What does this mean? I am cleaning out my pantry and find a very old (several years past 'sell by' date) container of dried mushrooms "Gourmet Mushroom Blend" Being cautious, I decide that I would not eat them, but what should I do with them? I dismiss the idea of feeding them to my compost worms then consider throwing them outside into the thick ground cover of vinca.

Finally, I start looking at all of the different kinds

**porcini*morels*Brazilian*ivory portabellas*shiitake*oyster**

Feeling a sense of loss that these mushrooms have come to nothing, my thoughts move towards photography...to be continued:)

horoscopes

2011-05-18T08:47:00.004-06:00

First of all, let me state for the record that I am not a 'believer' in horoscopes or astrology. But I do get a kick out of reading my horoscope every now and then. The only one I read is Rob Brezsny's Free Will Astrology. It's quirky and fun.

Cancer Horoscope for week of May 19, 2011

Devilish laughter revels in chaos, says Loyola University philosophy professor John Clark. "It's an assault on excessive order, authority, and seriousness." Angelic laughter, on the other hand, "expresses delight in the wondrousness of life and in the mystery of the order and fitness of things." I'd like to suggest, Cancerian, that the time is ripe for you to revel equally in the devilish and the angelic varieties of laughter. So get out there and seek funny experiences that dissolve your fixations and celebrate your life's crazy beauty. The healing that results could be spectacular.

Who could say no to seeking out laughter and celebrating life's crazy beauty?

back in the saddle

2011-05-13T20:38:00.012-06:00

I love my 50mm lens. With it, I can take dynamite macros. The other wondrous thing is to work on bokeh and framing. What I like, in layman's terms, is managing an interesting photo while creating out-of-focus points of light. I often just take a few photos quickly and then go off to work or something else. It is virtually impossible to know if you have a great shot until you upload it to the computer and look at it full size on the monitor. Another way is to take some images, actually take the time to carefully select the composition, play with exposure and lighting. Then go inside to the computer and check them out. I leave the tripod in place so that I can easily tweak the shot to correct for obvious errors or just make improvements or reframe. And finally, I use cropping to make further artistic statements. I often go back and forth many times before I am pleased with the results or just give up:) It is not that different from life. Sometimes it is good to trim away and discard something that is beautiful on its own if doing so will expose a new jewel.

almost slept in...

2010-09-12T11:46:00.011-06:00

The lure of sunrise photography is beginning to appeal to me again. I have been so busy with work, gardening, and taking care of my Aunt, that I have devoted little time to my photography. The alarm has been set for an hour and a half before sunrise on several occasions, only to be ignored after the first much too early blast! This morning was almost that scenario. However, Happy made sure to let me know that it was best to get up and offer him canned food...EARLY.

I had told myself that it was going to be clear, with a potentially boring sunrise, so I intended to go back to bed. Of course, mother nature had other ideas and upon checking the morning sky and the clock, I threw on some clothes and ran out the door.

The sky was so beautiful that I almost stopped in the neighborhood to capture the sky without benefit of a good background location, but decided to head to the lake, one of my old stomping grounds. I got there rather late but still in time to watch the last display of intense colors and see the cloud-filled sky turn from pink to white.

I had planned to run errands and then head home ready to enjoy the rest of the day. On the way to the store, I forgot to turn on the right street which took me on a detour and by another beautiful scene.

Sometimes it is those detours that lead to the best things in life. It is funny, my Aunt asks me every day what my plans are - for the next hour? morning ? afternoon ? evening ? For some reason, it irritates me. I like to keep a mental list of those things that must be done while remaining open to what life has to offer.

Graduation - 2010 style

2010-06-24T23:31:00.008-06:00

Life is a jumble of experiences, moving too fast, seemingly not enough time to catch my breath yet sometimes just trying to to relax and pass the time. It is time to center and re-focus. I am tired of Alzheimer's being the focus of my life. A friend just loaned me a book that proposes a new way to manage the person with Alzheimer's. It looks promising.

I have hardly had time to process many of these recent experiences. Like my son's graduation, summa cum laude with a degree in mechanical engineering. I could not be more proud of him and this accomplishment. He worked hard but didn't seem to sacrifice fun. We attended graduation which, sorry to say, was a long, drawn out boring affair. Yes boring. Pretty much each person is there to see one person walk across the stage and be announced. But it is a rite of passage. Graduation 2010 style, my son sent me a text message from the floor during the ceremony telling me how bored he was. That set off a flurry of text messages back and forth. I tried to amuse myself with some 'creative' photography. Thank you to the man with the shiny bald head :)

living with Alzheimer's....coping by gardening

2010-05-15T22:12:00.005-06:00

It takes tons of patience and the ability to take care of oneself
or you WOULD go crazy....

Today, I finally had time to plant some perennials in my backyard. A couple of weeks ago, I paid someone an ~obscene~ amount of money to get some of my long neglected flowerbeds weeded and ready to plant. I decided I was willing to spend another ~obscene~ amount of money to buy the perennials to fill them up. I took my Aunt along because she loves going out. Our first stop was the bank to take the coins in to exchange them for paper money. We got in the line and the first thing she did was start handling the jacket of the man in front of us. She was pointing out the paint and holes. He was good-natured and just kept saying, 'It's all good' I wasn't sure what he meant but at least he didn't seem to be offended. My Aunt was fine at the garden center - she pushed the cart and carefully arranged my selections. She asked me how much I spent and I told her 'A LOT!' She said, '$50?' I said 'A lot more!' She said '$100?' I said 'more.' I ended up with about 20 large containers of perennials plus one very large peony that is a hybrid between the regular peony and the tree peony. It has yellow flowers.

I have been known to buy plants and then let them languish in the pots until I find the time to plant them, causing waste and stressed plants.
I was determined to get them all planted.
Which I did - now I am excited to see how they do.

After dinner, I decided to watch a movie. I still haven't found the remote to the dvd player. We found it necessary to hide the t.v. and dvd remotes because my Aunt kept screwing things up to the point that I had to call Comcast and have them reset from their end. I wish she weren't so willing to keep pressing buttons when she gets confused. Unfortunately, I couldn't remember where I hid these remotes! I did find the t.v. remote but have yet to find the dvd remote. I got one of those universal remotes and it has me stymied. I can't get the dvd menu to show up! Tonight's selection was a foreign film and without the menu, I couldn't get the subtitles to display. That would have been OK with my Aunt as she just thinks she is having a little extra trouble understanding what is going on. She had about 3 glasses of wine tonight which makes her very talkative. She started a non-stop monologue announcing every bit of action on the movie (the man is putting his hat on, he is smoking a pipe, he is leaving his room and going to the subway......). After discovering that I couldn't get the subtitles up, I abandoned the movie and put on another episode of Law and Order. She kept talking and finally, I left the room and started a rousing game of solitaire on the computer. She followed me into the computer room and when I told her what I was doing, she started laughing hysterically.

Such is a day in the life of an Alzheimer's caretaker.

Tomorrow - more plants more planting...less wine:)

Congratulations, Jeff Bridges

2010-03-07T23:06:00.004-07:00

Yeehaaaw!*
*I haven't seen Crazy Heart yet - must remedy that soon...
also enjoyed George Clooney mugging for the camera

one thing leads to another

2010-02-07T22:31:00.006-07:00

Sometimes it seems as if life is nothing more than organized chaos. Or maybe it is that way to me because I am only so organized. I admire organization...but not enough to be overly so. I could accomplish a lot more if I were more organized but I feel pretty defensive about my contentment with letting things happen and following my interests to wherever they lead. That is not to say that goals are a bad thing or that one should not have them. Like many things, a balance of goals and going with the flow are what feel right to me. Maybe being surrounded by people my age who are retiring puts me in a reflective mood. Being goal-oriented and being able to retire obviously go hand in hand. I have lots of reasons (excuses?) why I am not financially ready for retirement. My favorite one is being a single parent since my kids were quite young (2 and 5). As a therapist once told me, I would find myself in 'survival' mode at times. I have always had a good job so we were never impoverished. My mother told me once she thought I assuaged my guilt over being a single parent to my kids by buying them too many things. I am sure there is some truth in that - but it is nothing more than just a reflection of the past. My kids, now young adults are both doing very well, so I don't think I totally screwed up.

Excuse number two, it goes against my philosophy of life to put off doing those things you love and don't have time for ~~~ until after you retire. Too many people are worn out or sick or just too fearful after they retire to do much of anything. It is like they are just waiting to die. I know that is a rather harsh assessment. I also have some great retirement role models - people who seem to have gotten younger now that they aren't under the bullshit pressure that work sometimes puts on us all. They have time to pursue those little things that had to be put off. So there is hope. How is this philosophy an excuse for not being able to retire now? Why put off buying that new camera? Why wait to go to Europe? Why sacrifice all for work and promotions when it interferes so heavily with life outside of work?

"life is what happens while you are busy making other plans" describes my philosophy well - thank you John Lennon.

Now all of this pursuit of life does take energy. I have been trying to lose weight and get into shape for some time now. In the past, all I needed was a good pair of hiking boots and the trail up Green Mountain to feel fit and full of energy. I got out of the habit while pursuing my passion for photography (always looking for someone or something to blame!). The last time I hiked up the mountain a few weeks ago, I took forever, cautiously walking over the icy trail. That wouldn't have phased me before. Well, I decided to join the gym. Tomorrow I am meeting with a trainer who will help me get started and give me some routines to reach my goals. I guess this is one instance where I can live with the idea of goals! I realized I have no workout clothes that fit me, so I went out shopping for some suitable garments (aka baggy). I thought that Lane Bryant (fat lady clothes) would have some that would fit. To my astonishment, they had NO workout clothes. Isn't that just ridiculous? I am all for being accepting of ones size but - give me a break! If you need to shop at Lane Bryant, you NEED to work out. Oh well, I went to the sporting goods store and will try to cram my out-of-shape-self into some XL's.

In the meantime, I try to experience as much living as I can get away with. I found a funky old post card at the antique store recently. My son and I are starting up a bit of a post card competition. We both feel as if you can find better post cards in Europe. True or not, I look around for good ones to send to him in Paris and soon Rome. I finally got around to writing some words on the back and mailing it to him. I studied it first and found that the photograph was taken by Richard Kalvar, an American who lives in Paris, a well-known street photographer. I like what I have seen of his work so far. Mow I add his book to my list of books to buy. One step closer to retirement, one step farther away....

Scary Santa and other images from the past

2010-01-10T22:51:00.007-07:00

Scary Santa

Inspiration comes in spurts, some quite minuscule, often set aside and forgotten before there is time to act on them. For years, I have enjoyed going to antique stores, only to lose myself in some sort of trance and disappear for hours. I often find the stacks of old photos, especially the formal studio portraits to be particularly fascinating. Today, I felt the need to get away, so I headed to my latest favorite nearby antique mall. While wandering, I found an old photo of a child sitting on Santa Claus's lap. The photo seemed to have been placed on a table haphazardly as if accidentally left behind by someone browsing the mall. The face of Santa Claus struck me as almost horrific. I remembered how my younger son was terrified by Santa Claus when he was quite young, often being reduced to tears when asked to sit on Santa's lap. I wonder if this is how Santa Claus looked to him?

These old photos seem haunting to me for several reasons. I wonder how they became separated from their families and what were these people like. History and what life was like in the past are subjects that I often ponder. I want to start collecting some of these photos but then, what would I do with them? Today, many tempted me besides horrific Santa. This little boy in his very adult style coat struck a cord. He seems to be swimming in this coat. The photo is labeled with the studio name, Hildreth, Longmont Colorado. Will I find inspiration in these photos?

little boy with hands in coat

what doesn't kill us makes us stronger

2009-11-16T22:57:00.006-07:00

It seems that life is always teaching me about perspectives. Part of that is just age, if you are not asleep at the wheel, aren't you bound to gain some perspective on life?

The words of a friend ring in my ears, Remember that your Aunt's actions are often the actions of the disease, and not of the person she once was. That seems simple enough but when faced with unbelievably inexplicable behavior, I can take some peace in these words. She also says, Don't argue with an Alzheimer's patient. You will never win the argument.

Two weeks ago, we had some high drama. One of my cats disappeared and after looking for a couple of hours, I noticed him high up in a tree. VERY HIGH. This is no kitten but a 14-pounder. We coaxed and pleaded and worried about him - to no avail. My Aunt set up a folding chair under the tree with the idea that she could convince him to jump and she would catch him. (remember, it's the disease and don't argue!) I had a meeting at work that required my presence and thinking that worry wouldn't help - he'll come down on his own - I left my Aunt stationed under the tree. I called at about noon to check on things -(answering the phone took months to teach my Aunt). She told me simply that the cat had decided to come down.
Naively, I relaxed and stayed at work until 5 p.m. When I got home, my Aunt really didn't even remember the tree incident. The cat was nowhere to be found. I called for him and looked and looked - no sign. As I was cleaning the kitchen, I noticed blood in the sink - which my Aunt couldn't explain. I was really worried - as you might imagine. Then at about 9:30, the cat appeared at my side with a badly mangled foot. I called my vet who asked me a bunch of questions and determined that it could wait until morning. The nearby after-hours vet had told me he was too busy to see another patient. Anyway, the result was a kitty who had to have one toe amputated. He seemed subdued but recuperated quite nicely. As my son said,
You will never know what really happened since you decided to go to work!

Then on to phase 2.... The vet gave me the go ahead to take off the bandage in 4-6 days. The stitches were the dissolving kind. My Aunt seemed strangely focused on wanting to remove the bandage. One morning, on day 5 she got the scissors out and told me she thought she would take off the kitty's bandage. I took over and removed it myself right away! The foot seemed shrunken and smaller (duh!) but otherwise good. When I came home from work, the cat greeted me at the door - not his usual behavior. His foot seemed very sore and inflamed. He was clearly in pain. I assumed another trip to the vet was in order, especially since my Aunt told me there were some black threads that needed to be removed from his foot. OMG It didn't look like she had removed them but something didn't seem quite right.
(words echoing in my head - you will never know what happened because you went to work...) But by morning, the kitty seemed vastly improved, begging me for canned food as usual. And he has continued to get better and is now treating his 'bum' foot almost like normal. My Aunt mentioned that she HAD removed some of those black threads - no matter how many times I told her that they didn't need to be removed, the disease wouldn't let her believe it. My sister gave my kitty the new nickname, the amputee!

I guess both the amputee and I are stronger for the experience!
Taking on a little more responsibility at work? - piece of cake!

hard cold reality

2009-10-11T22:38:00.012-06:00

dreaming of the south of France!

Time seems to move both at warp speed and painfully slow. I feel on the verge of some kind of break through in life as if I could be getting a handle on care taking someone with Alzheimer's. But then my Aunt throws me a curve ball and I muddle through some kind of adjustment. We joke that my Aunt is in her second childhood but make no mistake, there are many differences. When you explain something to a child, there is some expectation that they will remember some of it. With an Alzheimer's patient, that expectation can often be wishful thinking. I have tons of patience and I couldn't survive without it. You really can't reason with someone who has Alzheimer's either; they have their own unique way of looking at things.

Stubborn might be the perfect way to label my Aunt.

Tonight we had a 'discussion' of what she needs to do about being an organ donor. Recently, when we got her a new state issued I.D., she expressed a desire to be an organ donor. I told her that informing me and having the signed document indicating her preference to be an organ donor was all she needed to do. She spoke of it over and over. Questions, What condition are my organs in? Which ones are suitable for use by someone else? What illnesses have I had over the years that would exclude certain organs for use by someone else??

~OMG~

I kept telling her that they would check any of her organs before use for their suitability AFTER she dies. I had to tell her all of these things at least six times before she moved on to some other concern.

If there are bonus points to be earned in this universe for patience, I am building up a sizable account. But I think I do need to go to caregivers school!

where in the world have I been?

2009-08-19T23:47:00.005-06:00

I haven't even looked at my blog in almost four months! So I had no idea that I had left a snowman in charge. Yikes! We have had a light summer (cool and rainy) and now a touch of fall is definitely in the air. Where has the time gone?

On May 10th, Mother's Day, I finally managed to get my Aunt on a plane and we both began a new chapter in our lives. It has been and continues to be an eye-opening experience. Learning how to live with and manage a person with Alzheimer's is....well...it is probably good that I have a ton of patience AND I blundered ahead without thinking too much about the consequences of my actions! She is a very interesting person and a force to be reckoned with. I am learning all kinds of things that I was not aware of starting with how things were done during the depression.

I haven't been away from home for even one night since the day she arrived but I am feeling like I might want to get away - maybe an overnight trip to Austin to see my favorite guitarist, Eric Johnson, play a concert with Alien Love Child.

Update to the update...

Last weekend, I managed to get away for one night. Lots of prep and some worry but away I went. Eric played very well, the night was gorgeous, the company very fine and it was fun to meet some EJ forum people. Austin is much bigger than I imagined and the environment was very beautiful. As a biologist/botanist, I would love to explore that Texas hill country.

new friend in the neighborhood

2009-04-18T19:03:00.005-06:00

Winter, in the form of a large spring snowstorm, returned yesterday. The totals varied widely but over here on the west side of Denver, we received almost two feet of wet, HEAVY snow. I ran out yesterday morning before work and put down some fertilizer on the grass. I am so pleased with myself!! In any case, spring is going to positively ERUPT after this deluge of moisture.

For several years I have bemoaned the lack of snowmen that appear after each snowstorm. What are kids thinking these days? Or maybe I am just not paying attention. So today, I resolved to do my part. I discovered it isn't quite like riding a bicycle - you do forget. The snow was so heavy and I was so impatient to 'decorate' that I threw the snowman together and thoroughly enjoyed the search for eyes and nose and mouth. I had fun and managed to avoid most responsible activity - although I did do a little shoveling. When the sun returns tomorrow, I won't have much to do to get out of my drive-way. But I suspect my friend won't stick around long!

Appia Antica

2009-04-16T23:39:00.009-06:00

It has been ages since I posted. There has been a long period of too much work, too much stress and now... I feel myself entering a period of appreciation and happiness for so many gifts that I experience. The big story is my trip to Paris and Rome. Getting to this point was a nightmare - in some ways I thought it would never come to pass. It reminds me of the time in my life when I was pregnant with my older son. No matter how hard I tried, I could not imagine what it would be like. Of course, all things come to pass!

I experienced so many very memorable moments and sights on my trip that it will take a long time to process the information. My son took me all over Paris and Rome and we had many adventures. I took lots of photographs and am now sorting and identifying where I actually went. The days all kind of run together, so my photos will be the link that ties it all together.

Without a doubt, my favorite thing was our visit to the Via Appia, Appia Antica or Appian Way. I was excited to see some Roman aqueducts and they didn't disappoint but the lesser anticipated Via Appia stole my heart. I am so glad that my son suggested we go there. The road is narrow and covered with ancient stone. Some of the stones are older than others. They are all a bit uneven but clearly worn smooth through the antiquity of use. Apparently the larger stones are the older ones. The sides of the road are tree-lined with areas open to fields and wildflowers and vibrant green grass. Other areas are lined with ancient high walls. There are villas, ancient and more recent, archaeological digs, parks, monuments. The list goes on. There was almost no traffic the day we were there (except for the sheep & goat herd that crossed the road followed by the slow-moving Rolls Royce). It was a Monday and many things are closed. But we found one open estate/park where we talked with the caretaker (being with someone fluent in the language is invaluable). The villa had suffered damage in WWII and when that owner repaired it, he incorporated many ancient artifacts into the walls. Further down the road, we saw another house that had done the same kind of thing.

There was a time when I was a child that I dreamed of being an archeologist. I am not disappointed that I became a biologist but this visit has stirred thoughts about what I want to be when I grow up this next time...

and so it goes...

2009-03-04T08:38:00.005-07:00

couple talking at Obama Acceptance Speech, Denver 2008

Just a quick update. My Aunt definitely has a mind of her own even if it is diminished! She has refused a second time to come home with me. Now she says it would have been a good idea but it is too late now. So, my sister and I head to New York again this weekend to help settle anything that she wants. We are rather out of ideas since our overwhelming desire is not to force her into anything she doesn't want to do. The last thing would be to have her put someplace against her will. We are hoping some good ideas will present themselves to us. Or we will just struggle along and manage. It is not ideal but sometimes that is the way life is. It seems apparent to us that our society really doesn't do a very good job with end-of-life issues. We joke that this is a good education for us - now in our mid-late 50's (and beyond).

Other than that I toil away trying to get critical things done at work so that I will be free of them when I go to Paris to visit my son. We have decided to take a short trip to Rome while I am there. Why? Because I want to photograph some ancient Roman aqueducts. What else?

photo by mattta courtesy of flickr

life changes

2009-02-02T06:41:00.006-07:00

Between work, the situation with my Aunt in New York City AND my new camera :), I have had little time to blog. But I have a feeling things are about to change - just possibly in a major way.

I started this post over a week ago and it seems as if a lifetime has passed. I just returned from a quick trip to NYC and am back in the overworked workload condition at my office. I need to be focused and productive.
I need to be sleeping :)

I had intended to bring my Aunt back to stay with me but she had other ideas. She is at that place in life when independence is a fragile condition. Just two days after leaving her, she is now ready to leave her apartment in Manhattan and come to stay here. Is it a visit? Is it forever? She has some form of dementia but not so much that the Aunt I have known since birth is gone. She is still there. She has a group of 12 nieces and nephews who are working together to find the best options for her. I am looking forward to giving her some TLC but I am a bit apprehensive about just what I am getting myself into....

Paris is in my future

2009-01-15T00:36:00.006-07:00

I am starting to get excited. Even though I don't have tickets yet, I am going to visit Paris this spring - probably in April, maybe March. It hasn't seemed real to me before now. I can't really afford to go but I can't afford to miss this opportunity.

I have a friend who visited there a couple of years ago and she is almost as excited as me. Every now and then she calls me to tell me what the temperature is there! I am going to start deciding what I want to see and where I want to photograph.

My older son is happily settled there. It is such a kick to talk to him online at night - he says good night and I say have a good day. He heads to class as I am heading to bed. He knows a hotel near his school that is cheap and clean. I think I can handle the Latin Quarter.

Dreaming....

carrying on.....

2009-01-11T18:01:00.008-07:00

What a relief ... I am so glad to be beyond the holidays. For some reason, everything seemed like WORK this year. Trying to balance an overload of work with some home repairs put me WAY behind schedule. One night during the week before Christmas, I found myself cutting floor tiles so that I would have enough in place for the plumbers who were coming to replace two toilets. I couldn't put it off because I was giving my room with attached bath to my Dad and I had REMOVED the old toilet weeks ago in anticipation of a new tile floor and a new toilet. Pulling a all-nighter to put in ceramic tile is not my idea of fun! And let me say that I still haven't finished the floor although the bathroom is fully functional.

My younger son returned to Boulder for the start of spring semester tomorrow so FINALLY I can start to put things back in order (or even get into order for the first time) I am committed to getting rid of clutter and am making progress although YOU might not be able to see it.

The last few days have had a slightly different priority. My new camera, lens and tripod arrived Thursday. It is a great joy. I took it out the first day for some beautiful late afternoon/sunset clouds.

And I am slowly learning the buttons and menu. It is surprisingly different from my old camera. The new tripod is more wonderful than imagined. I should have paid this much for one right from the start. It simply takes the frustration out of getting the camera into position. Now I can direct that frustration at my lack of knowledge of my camera!! But that is a problem that is solved with education and experience. A cheap, poorly designed tripod is a dead-end.

My younger son took my old camera along with my older son's low-end lens. (my older son and I are both spoiled by the better quality!) He is looking forward to learning how to take nice photos. For him it will be a step up from his camera phone :) I asked him to please take care of it. It was surprisingly hard to part with. In fact, I consider it a loan!

The winds are blowing like crazy right now:
from the National Weather Service, a short term forecast:

.NOW...
WEST TO NORTHWEST WINDS OF 20 TO 35 MPH WITH GUSTS AROUND 55 MPH CAN BE EXPECTED IN WIND PRONE AREAS IN AND NEAR THE FRONT RANGE FOOTHILLS THROUGH THE EARLY EVENING HOURS. THIS INCLUDES LOCATIONS ALONG THE PEAK TO PEAK HIGHWAY...CARTER LAKE...AND HIGHWAY 93 BETWEEN BOULDER AND GOLDEN. SOME LOCATIONS ALONG HIGHWAY 93 WILL SEE
GUSTS NEAR 65 MPH...MAINLY NEAR ROCKY FLATS AREA. THE GUSTY WINDS WILL ALSO AFFECT THE GREATER DENVER METRO AREA...BUT PEAK WIND GUSTS WILL BE CLOSER TO 30 MPH THERE.

Hopefully, they will die down and I will not be posting images of the damage taken with my new camera!

continuing the coffee theme into 2009 .....

2009-01-01T09:22:00.005-07:00

I'm feeling smarter already! Thanks, Claire for the gift of coffee - this IS really good!

It has been a long and difficult fall. I have been buried under a heavy workload which will continue at least through January. I enjoy everything that I am doing but it is frustrating to have to compromise on things due to time constraints. Ah well, that is life. I am in good spirits and look forward to this new year as a time to pursue bigger and better things.

I have been a bad girl - even though I can't afford it, I have just ordered a new camera, lens and tripod. I love my camera but I decided to give my one good lens to my son who is living in Paris. As he said, he will put it to good use! We share a love of photography so we both know the value of a good lens. I am seriously not into equipment - I can look anytime on flickr and see hundreds of wonderful photos taken with lowly point-and-shoot cameras. But .... you can do so much more with better equipment. I have lost patience with cheap tripods. I have gone through 4 of them now and the latest deserves to be thrown into traffic and run over with malice! I often shoot with a tripod even in good light situations - maybe because I drink too much coffee! So the new equipment is a commitment to stepping up my skill as a photographer. It already brings me a ton of enjoyment - this is one resolution that will be a pleasure to pursue. Does that make it cheating?? Aren't resolutions supposed to be things we hate?

a great weekend comes to a close

2008-11-16T18:06:00.009-07:00

sunset over Green Mountain

In spite of necessity and guilt, I managed to sneak in some fun this weekend. After a friend went through the math and informed me about how many days I might have left in life, I made a few commitments to change. After all, all we really have is now since the past is gone and there are no guarantees of any future.

Like many, I am overwhelmed with too much work (but always the threat of no work at the same time - it's a double whammy!!) I fall into the trap of ... when I get caught up, I will do .... such and such. Well, I am tired of waiting until I catch up! I am becoming a master at knowing what can slide and how long it can go before unpleasant things start happening.

clouds put on a show for those who take the time to look

I set aside the work for some hours and hiked Green Mountain and took a bunch of photos, two sunsets and the hike. I am tired and ever so slightly satisfied and ready or just about ready to maybe get some work done. (aaahhh the fine art of procrastination)

Also, I am making an official announcement that I am trying to get back into shape. I have hit rock bottom, I don't have the energy I need to get my work and fun done. Oh and the fact that my son (the one studying in Paris) is coming home for Christmas and he sent me an article today about the town in West Virginia with the highest rate of obesity. I don't want him to see me and think of that article! So today, I started back hiking.

my pre-hiking physique :)

It was a glorious November day, low 60's and sunny. With cold and snow lurking just a forecast away, hundreds of people were out exercising and enjoying the weather. For once, I didn't mind being part of the crowd.

the tower is the goal

Now, Sunday evening, I am feeling that old familiar apprehension about all that I didn't get done. It will still be there tomorrow, have no fear.

yesterday's sunset over Crown Hill Lake - hundreds of Canada geese come home for the night

de-evolution of a coffee snob

2008-11-13T06:21:00.006-07:00

Almost a month later and I am still harping on coffee??

Like most people, I am trying to cut costs these days. I've never been a big fan of Starbucks but I have been a supporter of a local coffee roaster. It costs less than Starbucks but it still is in the $8/lb range. SO....

Here I sit, 3 cups of Kroger coffee later, and I am feelin' good! It almost tastes better than...?*

What to cut next?

*little secret Starbuck's doesn't want you to know

New York cup of coffee

2008-10-22T21:52:00.007-06:00

I have been to New York City twice this year. In all of my previous years I had been there but once, way back when I was a high school student from Nashville, Tennessee. My visits this year were short and of the economy sort of stay with my elderly Aunt. She is very frugal and prefers that we not spend a lot of money while there. During my first visit in February, we could not resist eating out several times and the food was delicious. I can remember even now how happy my taste buds were! This last time, I vowed to eat my Aunt's food. I tried, I really tried. But after two days, I was getting increasingly hungry. What was it that I was missing the most?

coffee!!!

Coffee at my Aunt's home is of the instant variety made from years-old Folgers-like crystals already mixed with big grains of dried milk. I tried mixing it in several strengths but the results were always dismal. So one afternoon, I told my Aunt I was going out to take photographs and left her napping peacefully on her living room sofa.

phew.....

Living in the upper west side, hundreds of little places resided within a short distance where I could find

coffee...

I found a little shop and ordered a bagel breakfast sandwich and a cup of coffee. The man asked me if I wanted milk and sugar. My only experience with a restaurant that offers pre-loaded coffee is...I hate to admit it...McDonald's. But here they didn't ask how many creams and sugars. I decided to throw caution to the wind and see what happened. A table by the window allowed me to people-watch while enjoying my meal.

To my surprise, the coffee was perfect. Sweet and milky - just the way I like it - 'would you like some coffee with your cream' type of coffee!! I can honestly say, that cup of coffee tasted better than any that I can remember. Of course, much of that was due to circumstance but still...

Coffee is an important part of my life. It is something I enjoy each and every morning. With the exception of feeding my cats, making coffee is my first priority. (they won't let me make coffee first!) Memories involving coffee are scattered throughout my mind.

Like when I was quite young, I remember stealing a taste of my uncle's coffee that was left at the breakfast table on a warm sunny morning. He liked it just the way I do now!

Like when I started college, my English professor would stroll slowly around the classroom holding her cup of coffee, sipping while lecturing. For some reason, she struck me as being so elegant and intelligent. I picture her in my mind from time to time.

Like after college, during the hippie years, I remember buying coffee beans and grinding them with a hand grinder.

There are other stories and times in my life that are associated with coffee. My sons tell me I am addicted and I always agree but add that it seems like a harmless addiction. But now as I think about it, it is more than that, it is one of those little rituals that make up part of my life's fabric. Now I have woven in a few more threads.

each one more beautiful than the last...

2008-10-20T22:50:00.006-06:00

Ah Fall - it is a damp rainy evening. Tomorrow is forecast to be rainier than today. After all, we are approaching that day by which we expect snow, October 31st. When I set out to do yard work, I find myself waylaid by the beauty of the leaves. Not the leaves as a group but
each.....individual....leaf. Each one is more beautiful than the last.

It is like a case of temporary obsessive-compulsive disorder. There is such poignancy in knowing how quickly the colors will fade. Best to give in to the senses and
count out as many favorites as time will allow.

searching for angels

2008-10-13T20:37:00.009-06:00

With a little free time today, I headed out to take some photos of angels and other statuary in the local cemetery. Usually, when I go to photograph the cemetery, I just wander around and take pictures of things that strike me as interesting. But lately, I have decided to focus a little energy on statues. I am fascinated by the poses and the calm beauty that most of them exhibit. Don't ask me why although I can say it is not about religion or the supernatural. Since this is a new fascination, the first two nearby cemeteries I went to did not appear to have any angels....oops.

So, I headed to the nearest BIG cemetery and immediately found quite a few statues to admire. One of the things I like about cemeteries is the peace and quiet and sense of being alone, as strange as that may sound since you are surrounded by reminders of hundreds of people! But today was different. There were quite a few people driving around or mourning at gravesites.

Once as I was photographing a pair of angels, a car circled around and parked right by me as I finished my photographs. A woman and a man got out and walked right over to where I had just been and began taking photographs! I sort of felt like I was being followed. Then later, I saw another car stop at an angel and take her photograph. Now I realize that angels are a popular subject for photography but this was a little unnerving.

anticipation

2008-10-12T23:31:00.007-06:00

Is it really almost the middle of October????? How did that happen?
p.s. this image was taken two years ago on October 26 - we have no snow yet but that could change overnight since it is 35 and drizzling.

In some ways, I am experiencing empty nest for the first time. I AM very self reliant but it does seem different finally. I have always measured my adult life in terms of events or rites of passage that related to my two sons. But now it seems as if they are both off to a good start and I am left to carry on with the rest of MY life. Of course, that is a little overly dramatic. Never the less, I am finally free to do what I want to do when I grow up.
Hmmmm, I wonder what life has in store for me....

safely on the ground

2008-09-28T17:24:00.006-06:00

I think we all look back (or even forward) to those defining moments when a sense of relief warms our being. It signals the end of a string of events or high pressure situations or just situations fraught with potential danger. I have been looking forward to this time when the field portion of my project was complete and my older son was safely tucked away at school in France.

This past week was the settling down time, getting-back-in-sync-time - that time on the flight between when you feel the plane beginning to descend and the pilot announces that they will have you safely on the ground in twenty minutes. Like most real life situations, mine had a few bumps on the way and then my son announced a quick trip home to get his winter things. He also asked if we could acquire a list of items that he thought he needed for his life over there. My mothering instinct kicked into overdrive and I shopped and orchestrated the aid of my younger son and even my ex-husband. It was neck and neck but we managed to get together the things my son most wanted. He arrived home yesterday afternoon and we made the most of an 18-hour visit. We shopped a little and then had a very nice dinner with brother, father, step-mother, half-sister, uncle and me! We celebrated my son's success and complained about the state of the world!

This morning, we packed up his two checked items, one large suitcase and one bicycle (destined for commuting the streets of Paris). After making the mistake last time of having an overweight bag (a rookie mistake!!) we carefully weighed things as we packed and each bag came in under 50 pounds. There was no line at oversize check-in, giving us a few more minutes to relax. My son has traveled so much that I don't get sad when he leaves. We are close and communicate regularly. I see these times as the doors to a life well-lived. Always something to celebrate. For me, I work a few days, recuperate some more and then head to New York to see my Aunt next weekend.

Water: feast or famine?

2008-09-21T08:22:00.006-06:00

What a week!!!

I spent the last week working with seven colleagues on a 7000 acre wetland in Oregon. I feel like this was a once in a life-time experience. Very hard work, long days and memories that will stay with me for the rest of my life.

Now I am adjusting to life back at the ranch. 20 minutes before I was to be picked up by the airport shuttle last weekend, the tank in my toilet started overflowing. I tried shutting off the valve next to the toilet, but of course it was corroded into the ON position. So I grabbed every towel in sight and ran to the basement to shut off the water to the entire house. Then I left for the week.

No plumber genies stopped by while I was gone so there it all sat in the exact same state of disaster when I returned. I inspected the parts, tried the shut-off valve one more time and then got in the car to head to the hardware store. Oops, the car wouldn't start. Diagnosis = dead battery. This was a no-brainer since I must have left the trunk open and the trunk light must have drained the battery. I always kind of wondered if there was a timer on the trunk light that would keep the battery from draining. I guess I have my answer!

So I hopped on the scooter and drove to the hardware store. The first question was, how many screws does the ballcock assembly have, 3 or 4? Huh??? I explained the problem and we "guessed" what I might need. I drove home and found out instantly that we "guessed" wrong.

I am very tired from my week in the swamp and all the stress of travel and planning and carrying out this project (the swamp project, not the toilet project!) SO...... I am educating myself on the inner workings of my toilet. It's about time, isn't it?

Meanwhile, I would really like a shower and a cup of coffee!

Blackie and Happy - together at last

2008-09-11T23:26:00.006-06:00

These guys have never shared this cushy bed that sits atop the rocking chair by the big picture window. It has forever been "first-come, first-served" But over the weekend, they came to some kind of agreement and decided to share.
They were so cute that I took loads of photos, trying to capture the cute overload.

****this message approved by "Tuxedo Cats for Obama"****

It's Simple Really

2008-09-10T07:42:00.003-06:00

a McCain-Palin Administration = The Bridge to Nowhere

Thanks but NO Thanks

Obama fever and Palin headache...

2008-08-31T12:10:00.005-06:00

I was fortunate to score a ticket to Obama's acceptance speech at the last minute. I am working on a post for that but not quite finished. My lame excuse is that I need to do a little more processing of my photos! Meanwhile, I have spent too many hours looking into this person that McCain selected for his running mate. I am appalled at his choice and even more disgusted with the rancorous months that lay ahead as we argue endlessly over everything under the sun. Without denigrating her, I do not believe she has the experience to handle this job or the job of the presidency. If you have ever hired people, it is not a difficult conclusion. I am even more appalled that we are so willing to lower the standards for this job because we are involved in the politics AND she is a spunky, no-nonsense maverick or some such claims.
Should we not talk about RELEVANT experience?

As I work through all of this, I continue to take pictures and I am NOW going to be buying Photoshop CS3 for home use. Finally!! I am very excited to have it available to continue learning.

Work has kept and continues to keep me busier than a person should be. I have some upcoming travel that is going to be very exciting - a wetland in Oregon, another visit to my Aunt in New York City and who knows where else.
I am also saving my money for a spring trip to Paris, since my older son leaves Wednesday to start graduate school there.

Wasn't it nice of him to work hard and get accepted into École normale supérieure ?

rainy night in Denver

2008-08-16T20:30:00.006-06:00

Tonight, Denver sits at about 50° with rain falling off and on since yesterday morning. It poured while I was picking up my peaches this morning. During a lull, I went out and bought a bushel of roasted green chile. After forgetting to buy any last year until it was too late, this year I jumped at the first chance. All you have to do is head to Federal Blvd. north or south of 6th Avenue and stop at one of the many chile roasters set up along the way. They roast them for you on the spot – it just takes a few minutes.

anticipation.....

2008-08-16T07:05:00.005-06:00

It is early Saturday morning on a day I have been waiting for...

the annual Golden Rotary peach sale. Every year at this time, they ship a couple of semi-trucks full of Grand Junction peaches over here for us Front Range folks. Grand Junction (& Fruita and Palisade & ?) have peaches that can compete with the best of them.
You know what I mean - if you have been fortunate enough ever to have any....

I never pre-order - I just drive over early and get in the no-pre-order line (often shorter than the pre-sold line!). Better get going!

Haven for what?

2008-08-06T06:03:00.005-06:00

My 85 year old Dad just came for a visit. Since I don't have t.v. I had to think of ways to entertain him. Since we lived in this part of Colorado in several homes and locations going back to 1954, I thought of taking us all on an "old home tour." I will tell that story another day after I have scanned the old photos of our homes.

We stopped at a park for lunch and along one side was this house for sale. As I was eating my lunch, I had thoughts of living in the tiny village where I spent my first years - in a cool little fixed up home. I decided to have a peek and let my imagination run wild.

"Haven Properties" may be a fine little company but the name stuck out like a sore thumb in front of this place. The yard is completely overgrown and tinder-dry (not unlike the rest of Colorado!) and somehow, this little house did not give off any cute little fixed-up vibes!

It seems that it is a haven for wasps - one of my least favorite creatures on this planet.

No Thanks Haven Properties

I think I will put my imagination to work fixing up the much bigger fixer-upper that I already own.

a turn towards botany

2008-08-04T21:06:00.006-06:00

Blueberry's questions about Equisetum have set off a whole round of thoughts and possible schemes. I have been fascinated by Equisetum ever since I first learned about it in my botany classes way back in college. A little research turns up comments such as "prehistoric" "living fossils" and "Coal Age." When I see this plant, in my imagination, I think of 400 million year old trees.

Equisetum = horsetails = scouring rush

It is related to ferns, sexually reproduces by spores or vegetatively by cuttings of the rhizomes. It gets one of its names, scouring rush, from the fact that the plant cells are filled with silica and has been used to sand things like clarinet reeds and pots and pans.

Does it require a lot of water? Simple answer - yes. One of the species, E. arvense is suited to a little drier environment but some warn that it can become an aggressive invader. E. hyemale definitely likes to have it rhizomes in water. Many sites recommend planting it in containers. Will it grow in Austin? I don't know for certain but I would say yes since it is so widely distributed.

I am going to plant some. My first choice is to find some to dig up and grow from root stock. It is quite common here in Colorado. Otherwise, you can do a google search and find nurseries that sell it. Good luck to you if you decide to try it - I'll keep you posted on any progress on my part. (don't hold your breath - all things in good time)

Now, where should I plant it? I am working on a vision!

horsetails!!

2008-07-24T22:05:00.003-06:00

Who on earth would think to put horsetails in a little planter in a storefront???

I expect this:

But I've never dreamed of this:
that would be Equisetum

"productivity" is overrated.....

2008-07-24T21:20:00.008-06:00

It seems as if the time is flying by without much time for reflection. I took the day off from work to help my younger son move out of his apartment. In a few short weeks, he moves into another apartment. So the stuff gets packed up and moved only to be moved again in August. August is shaping up to be nightmarish. I have company coming, my older son is returning from Europe to get ready to move to Paris by the end of August. One good thing about that is he can only take what the airline will allow. Then my younger son moves out for his junior year at college. And meanwhile, I am getting ready for a huge field effort on a project in Oregon that takes place in September. I have no time to waste. But that is not how my mind is organized. I require a certain amount of time that cannot be described as "productive" by those who tend towards productivity.

I spend a lot of time taking photos and processing them and even just looking at mine and others. Just enjoying the beauty around me. Somehow, along the way, I get done what I need to get done.

My trip out to San Francisco was a joy although I felt like I was just laying the groundwork for much more time there. I was surrounded by tourists, who like me were just trying to feel some small pulse of the city. San Francisco holds an irresistible lure for me. I want to live there or at least stay there for some months, maybe at least through all of the seasons, even if they don't have four seasons!

After seeing the movie, Mama Mia last evening, you might say, I have a dream....

p.s. I don't really believe that productivity is overrated, I just feel that "goofing off" time is just as important!

the pure pleasure of details

2008-07-16T00:48:00.004-06:00

I am fascinated by details.
I had the opportunity to spend a few days in San Francisco last week. My goal: walk around and take photos. I am not sure why I am so fascinated by architectural details, but whenever I see old buildings, my imagination runs wild. For instance, on the first evening in SF, I just started walking north....up and down...up and down. I found myself on the top of one of the many hills. I had no guidebook yet, but I noticed a big dark mansion with a fascinating fence around it. After a little research, I learned that this building was the only house to "survive" the 1906 earthquake/fire on Nob Hill: the Flood Mansion now the Pacific-Union Club. The mansion was gutted by the fire but the shell survived and the building was restored. The fence is original, bronze and sandstone. The Pacific-Union Club is some kind of ultra exclusive men's club.

I had to laugh after reading this since one of the things I noticed while circling the building was the dumpsters full of discarded pizza boxes. Oh, I am sure it was "gourmet" pizza!

to be continued....

grand passion for tree houses?

2008-06-28T09:36:00.004-06:00

cool, cloudy, in the 60's, trying to ignore the neighbor across the street who is dismantling a sheet metal shed with a sledge hammer. What a way to waste a beautiful peaceful time of day!

a tree house is a place where you can give free rein to your individual creativity

The other day, I happened to buy the newspaper and found an article on tree houses. The images and first few words were all that it took to spark my imagination. Without any deep thought, I have decided that when I retire, I want to live in a tree house.

It appears that I have company. One thing is for sure, the Colorado Rockies may not be the best place to build one. Generally, our trees are not big enough. One other retirement fantasy that I have had for years is to retire to the Olympic Peninsula. I spent a lot of time there when I was younger. Hmm, I wonder if this is the beginning of a grand passion?

p.s. I might actually be able to afford a tree house!!

best place to be

2008-06-14T21:47:00.007-06:00

Current temperature: 70° F

Today feels like the first day of summer to me. We reached about 90° F and the sun was shining fiercely; just the kind of day that I like to stay in from. My M.O. is to be out early and then out again late after the sun sets until it is too dark to see what I am doing. That isn’t terribly practical but nevertheless, I aim for it. So many people worship the sun, I worship cloudy, cool weather.

Luckily, Colorado cools off nicely in the evening even on the hottest of days. Summer is my least favorite season.

This is what I look forward to:

Monday: A cold front will drop temperatures into the 70s, with a better chance of storms and showers.

I had a conversation on Friday with a friend about how overwhelmed we both feel over the state of our homes and yards. The number of “things” that need attention is completely overwhelming. She started a list which launched us into a conversation about how hard it is to even get to the items on the list! We both have various reasons why we are so overwhelmed but the consensus was that much of it is psychological. It is so daunting to have so many tasks that we never even start. We both know that the philosophy of “just get started and keep plugging away” is sound but when the reality is never to finish, how do you psyche yourself up to get going? I am not a totally lazy person; in many ways I accomplish a lot. Or I should say, I am quite capable of accomplishing a lot. Is it seasonal-, cyclical-, temperature- or lighting-dependent? For years, I have accepted that I can’t do it all and believe me that translates into a lot of things that do not get done. Hiking, photography, blogging, the new job – all have taken their toll on the list of things that I do get done.

I decided to commit to thinking about the problem this weekend (I don’t want to set myself up for too big a fall!!). My latest thought on how to get motivated is to imagine and envision some of the things I will enjoy if I get even some of my things done:

Fresh vegetables from a small garden
A patio that is no longer part of the urban (or suburban) ghetto – with wind chimes and frog lights where I can sit in the early morning or late evening coolness and enjoy a cup of coffee or a glass of wine.
A backyard not so ugly that I will actually let my friends see it.

It is Saturday evening and I have actually accomplished a few things on the list. I have mowed the back yard and planted the beautiful iris that I bought in Boulder. But it shouldn’t be all work, so tomorrow I will get up early to photograph the sunrise in one of my old haunts. The noon hour tomorrow may actually find me napping – the best part of the day to be in!

testing the waters

2008-06-11T22:59:00.004-06:00

It has been a year since I was in the wilds of New Mexico. It is not hard to conjure up the very strange feelings of arising in the middle of the night and quietly getting ready to head out the door for the drive south to the Rio Grande and ... the birds.

I feel much more civilized right now... but I miss that too.

Most of my activities are still centered around work. I can feel the grip loosening and am sending a toe back out into the water. I have lots of ideas of what I want to photograph and places to go. I feel the draw of sunrise again. It is all good - I am still very happy with the new job but I am ready for a little more balance.

Happy's paw

2008-05-31T23:07:00.004-06:00

very cute....but less so when it is poking you at 3 a.m. for a little attention!

catching my breath

2008-05-19T21:00:00.014-06:00

Where has the time gone?

Life is pulling me in all directions and I am quite enjoying it. I have had to go on some "business trips" (collecting data from a kayak, visiting some potential wetlands), I did adopt that other cat so I am the proud parent of two shelter cats, and I have lent support to my older son who graduated this month from college. What a ride!!

My work continues to be a joy - SO different from my old position. Let's just say that my old position was not a good fit - for about 16 years!

about kitties: We returned to the first shelter and without any undue angst, brought home Blackie. Buried in his paperwork was a note that he had been adopted once and returned because he jumped and attacked the other pets! Blackie is two and very small. We said to ourselves - our little Blackie? no way. He is intensely curious about EVERYTHING. He is friendly but also "his own cat" (what cat isn't??) About a week after he arrived, he let down his guard and started jumping and attacking Mr. Boots now known as Happy! Does Happy seem like a dumb name? Yes - unless you know Happy. He is the most sweet, mellow cat I have ever known. After a little concern, it became apparent that Blackie and Happy are playing like kittens. They roam the house together looking for trouble, they sleep together and sometimes play a little rough and tumble. Little Blackie is the instigater but Happy is a willing participant. So as these things work out, the two new kitties are buddies and Pat is the crabby elder cat. At first, Pat hissed but now just goes about its business. They are not the buddies that I had imagined. For a while, Pat did less lick-shaving. But now it goes in cycles. My vet said that anti-depressants might help but since Pat seems to tolerate the strange habit - why put the kitty on drugs?

Yes, my son has graduated and will be heading to graduate school and a master's program in Switzerland. There are no words to express how proud I am of him. He has worked very hard and it has not been an easy road.

looking back to the 50's and 60's

2008-03-24T23:06:00.004-06:00

My Mom with older sister and brother posing for our Easter photos, Colorado - 1950's

Too bad the spring weather in Colorado meant we had to wear coats over our Easter finery!

Seeing some Easter posts around has filled me with a flood of memories. I am organizing my boxes of old family photos right now. It is a slow and enjoyable task. First, I am quickly sorting the photos into general categories. So when I saw a sweet Easter photo of Blueberry at Texas Oasis, I knew right where to go to find some of my own:

"general family gatherings" & "Claire/Kathy/Craig/Bob"

My mother loved to dress us up for Easter, complete with new dresses that she made plus new shoes, gloves, hats and purses. I don't remember it as being something to impress others - but who knows. My mother liked to dress my sister and I alike long past childhood! But that is another story.My sister and I in twin dresses, older brother in bow tie

Easter - 60's Style, by now my older brother had died but I had a new little brother!

Announcing a new family member....

2008-03-17T02:01:00.004-06:00

It has been a long time since I wrote much. I have been transitioning into a new job, paying too much attention to political battles and suffering the ups and downs of my young adult children. As much as I know that I cannot change their perspective on life, I still suffer when they do and worry about them when they are unhappy.
On a much simpler level, I decided after much discussion to adopt a new cat. I was hoping that Pat would feel less lonely with a companion and “lick-shave” its fur less.

On a recent Sunday, both of my boys came home for the opportunity to accompany me to a shelter to pick out a new buddy for Pat. We chose a shelter on the basis of (1) proximity and (2) hours of operation. When we arrived, the first clue to the place was the locked door and the requirement that you ring a bell to be let in by an attendant. As soon as you enter, you must surrender your car keys and identification. Why? Because they had a problem with people stealing pets! Then we looked around and there were many rooms of cats. It was very sad. We thought that perhaps we might want a kitten. We thought that Pat would accept a kitten more readily than an adult cat. But after seeing room after room of adult cats, we decided that we would adopt an adult. Although some of the cats seemed immediately unsuitable, we rapidly got to the point of overload. The only thing that could narrow down our search was that Pat seemed to get along better with males than females, so we decided on an adult neutered male. Oddly enough (not really!), we found a black and white kitty that was friendly and reminded us of Wiskerz. One cat was immediately rejected after it sunk its teeth HARD into my arm. I still have the scabs to remind me!

Next came the APPLICATION. The volunteer who showed us around told us that if we could provide references that were available right away who would vouch for us, then we could take the cat home today. We called friends until we located several who were home and available to testify to our suitability to adopt. We turned in the application and a very business-like person told us, “We don’t do same day adoptions.” We told her about our volunteer and she replied, “That was just a kennel tech – they were wrong, we don’t do same day adoptions.” My sons were disappointed and indignant that the shelter would even doubt that I was acceptable to provide a home for one of their animals. The woman wouldn’t budge. Then she handed us a list of shelters that might have lower standards and just might let us adopt an animal today. We found one on the list and drove over there. This shelter had a lot fewer cats and they had sunnier, nicer quarters for their pets. We found another black and white kitty that seemed to choose us right away. Mr. Boots is his name and he is 3 ½ years old. He is the sweetest cat you could possibly imagine. We filled out a short application and brought him home.

One week later…. We love Mr. Boots and he is gleefully settling into his new home. Pat is taking a little longer to find him sweet – there has been hissing. But I think Mr. Boots playful good nature is going to win Pat over … any day now!

The first shelter has called me once to ask me if I still want Blackie. They are holding him for me. My heart is torn – I hate to think of him having to live out his days there. After the way they made us feel, I am not surprised that they have so many cats that live there for years and years. I do understand that they are trying to protect their animals from abuse but …it’s not a perfect world out there.

Upper West Side

2008-02-23T10:58:00.007-07:00

My trip to New York was quite the eye-opener. I truly felt that I was stepping into another world. I am not totally naïve to life in a big city but as a life-long suburbanite and sincere “nature girl” this is a very different way of life from mine. It hit me the second I walked off the plane into LaGuardia. People seemed to be packed into a very small space, piled on top of each other, constantly bumping into one another. The bus ride was even more crowded! I barely managed to get on the bus and had to settle for being bumped by the door each time it opened – at least until there was a net decrease in passengers and I finally got to sit down. At one point I was standing there, trying to keep track of my luggage, packed in like a sardine when I heard a public service announcement about the dangers of pick-pockets. As if I needed any more reason to be afraid and as if I could maneuver my luggage and body to protect it all! Then I got off the bus in Harlem, after dark (Oh NO!!) to catch the subway for the final leg to my Aunt’s apartment near 97th and Columbus in Manhattan. The only glitch was that I couldn’t find the entrance to the subway – did I ever feel stupid!! But I only wandered back and forth a couple ways before I saw the stairs down. They had been mostly hidden behind an elevator – I wasn’t expecting that!

If NYC isn’t enough of a difference, the next part of the experience was spending a few days in the world of the elderly who have short term memory loss and were born around the time of the stock market crash (that would be the crash of 1929, by the way) and belong to the pack rat syndrome otherwise known as collecting and storing all things that may be useful…someday. My Aunt is intelligent and interesting and very funny. We had a great time with her. Part of me was sad that these kinds of times were not more common throughout the years. She lived her life in NYC and most of the rest of the family stayed scattered out west. She never allowed visitors to her apartment until the last year when one of my cousins decided to check up on her. I think she has decided that she enjoys our company and so the benefits of the time together outweigh the work of clearing out space to house us. We showed up this time in a contingent of 6 including nieces, nephews, grandniece and grandnephews. The spaces were tight but we all had a sofa or space on the floor to sleep. We only had to share it with the mice - but that is another story.

p.s. don't think that this adventure was all uncomfortable - I had a fantastic time! I want to go back.

off to New York City

2008-02-15T05:47:00.004-07:00

racing to get ready - excited for the adventure

random weird things

2008-02-13T00:28:00.004-07:00

I have been swamped with work - but in a good way because I am really enjoying it all. I head off this weekend for a brief trip to see my Aunt in NYC. That's right - Ptelea in the big city. My sister, brother, niece and both sons will all be there together. I am looking for adventure and lots of photo ops.

Does anyone have any ideas about this test sign? Sorry about the quality but it was dark, cold and windy and I had no tripod...

a couple of creampuffs

2008-02-01T06:33:00.000-07:00

8 degree morning, wind-blown snow on the Flatirons, Boulder, Colorado

Yesterday morning, I headed to Boulder early for an errand and decided to try and catch the sunrise. Some parts of Denver got snow but at my house we got no more than a dusting. Along Highway 93 though, as I came into Boulder there were the typical white-out conditions. I headed up to Chautauqua Park to snap a few photos. The sun wasn't up enough to bathe the Flatirons but the blasts of snow-blown wind was very invigorating. I had to admire the walkers and runners who were out enjoying the beauty. With enough of the right clothes, you really can be warm.

I realized how much of a cream puff I have turned into. At least I have company in that respect!

Pat basking in the afternoon sun

PEACE be with you...

2008-01-26T10:55:00.000-07:00

(idea sharers drive off)

Ah...spending a nice Saturday morning relaxing in my sun-filled living room, warm in my robe and pj's, catching up on blogs and looking at photos. It doesn't get much better than this.

I see an SUV pull up my street and park in front of my house. Out climb 4 men and a young boy dressed in suits, ties and wool overcoats...carrying books. Yes, the uninvited idea sharers have arrived. They separate into two groups and fan out across the street. In previous times, I might have bothered to go get dressed quickly so as to be "presentable" when they come to the door. I no longer care about such things. After all, it is my house and my Saturday morning that they are invading at 9:45 a.m.

A very seemingly-nice man rings the door bell and asks me if I am familiar with the Lord's Prayer. Honest answer: yes. Then he proceeds to my dismay to open the bible and start reading it. I stop him and say that I have other things I want to do so I am not interested in having him read the Lord's Prayer to me. He wishes me a nice day as I do to them and off the they go - on to the next door neighbor's house. After they leave, I go and find my PEACE flag and fly it out front to express my wishes for the world. I hope they notice when they come back to their car.

I swear - next time someone comes to the door to share their beliefs with me, I am going to bring out my copy of PRONOIA is the antidote for Paranoia by Rob Brezsny: How the Whole World is Conspiring to Shower You with Blessings. I am going to start reading a passage of my beliefs to them. It is kind of a crazy book - admittedly not to everyone's liking but I can open it any time and find some little message that brings a smile to my face.

I am more than happy to share my beliefs with you - all you need to do is ask! I promise not to come to your door uninvited!

p.s. I am not trying to discourage this form of expression. After all, I can choose not to answer my door or I can turn them away or I can invite them in - just be prepared to listen to MY viewpoints.

where the wild things are....

2008-01-14T22:56:00.000-07:00

Just in case you are wondering...there are no dogs in my backyard unless you referring to the wild members of the Canidae family: foxes and coyotes who seem quite at home in suburbia. When I looked out my window this morning, it made me laugh to wonder about just what went on in my back yard last night!

diversions

2008-01-05T20:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes you find treasure among the trash...

a beautiful bundle of peacock feathers stuck behind an old cabinet in the garage....

as soon as the feathers came out, the camera came out....

Now, how is that de-cluttering going?

mystery and beauty

2008-01-01T08:12:00.000-07:00

view from the hot tub on a very cold high-desert evening - seeing mystery and beauty in the night sky

I sigh with relief after the holidays are over. I am not a big fan of Christmas and often feel very out of sync with the massive materialism of this time of year. I have been swamped with new job details and would rather focus on a future of getting organized and enjoying life.

I do like to reflect on the New Year simply as a time of renewal and re-focusing on what is important. It is as good a time as any to get my house in order – figuratively – although getting my house “de-cluttered” is part of my plan.

While it seems like I haven’t been taking many photographs, I have spent countless hours getting my huge inventory organized and processed. It is a huge undertaking. A friend mentioned to me that I need to give myself the time to reflect after such a big project of 365 days of sunrise photography. Among many other things, it did give me a reason to go out and practice my art. I am taking my time pondering what my next big project may be. I think of it like a plant that put massive energy into producing a flower –
now is a time to restore my roots and stems and leaves.

Time to reflect – time to think – these seem to be considered time wasted by some standards of our society. By that measure, I will be wasting a lot of time in the coming year.

What will I be doing in the next year? Among other things and in no particular order:

Listening to my inner voice and following it to new photographic challenges

After three years of straying from exercise, finding a new balance between photography and physical activity(new friends at work want to take up snowshoeing and going to the health club across the street from work at lunch time)

Continue to plug away at organizing my photographs – don’t think of it as a task with a clear ending – but as a continuum that is always evolving and moving forward!

Further simplify my life and house. I am in the process of clearing out years of clutter that started forming when I moved into this house in 1990. Over the years, I have kept many things related to my children who are now in college. It is time to separate the wheat from the chafe and lighten the load. Or maybe I could think of it as letting more light into my home!

Willingly allow myself to be drafted into the political process beginning in February. My political friend has put me on notice and I will feel better knowing that I have been part of the decision making process rather than a bystander or “victim”!

Wishing all of you a bright New Year full of change and love and peace.

p.s. as I look out my window at the birds, I am going to add birding to my list of new challenges!

oh - and the clouds on the way home tonight....

2007-12-03T20:46:00.000-07:00

Life has handed me a great opportunity. After many years in the same office, I was ready for a change. My work this past summer made me feel comfortable and open to the possibility of real change. Of course, with two sons in college, my reality is very tied to my current job and level of income! But then along came the reorganization and a new assignment. I work for the same organization but I have a new boss and a new group and a new job. I have skills that will be useful in my new job and will be learning new tasks that are areas of personal interest to me. I feel like someone is going to wake me up and inform me that I have been dreaming. How would you feel if the person you are mentoring with tells you, "I want you to learn as much as you can about Photoshop. Take training. It would be a good idea if you not only work with these images that you are getting ready for the website but also work with some of your own. That way, you will learn more about the software"

Pinch me - I must be dreaming!!

Today was warm and the scooter ride home from work was a treat of breathtaking proportions.

their job now done

2007-11-25T21:53:00.001-07:00

I love the first weeks of winter when the trees have finally let go of all of their leaves. Perched in the extravagant display of branches are many formerly hidden nests, both birds and squirrels … their job now done.

night shot of my buddy

2007-11-18T20:27:00.000-07:00

the story of Buddy....

Earlier this fall, my car was totaled in a rear end collision. For some reason, I got a decent insurance settlement and I decided to throw caution to the wind and buy a motor scooter rather than put the money toward another car. I have two other cars, two sons in college (who can easily share one car) and I live close to work with very easy access to the bus that takes me right to work - it even drops me off in front of the building I work in. I would probably be getting rid of one of the cars in the next few years anyway. I have had my eye on a scooter for several years - having test driven a Vespa two or three years ago. Vespa's are very expensive but now there are quite a lot of viable, less expensive alternatives. I did a web search and decided that I would like a Buddy made by Genuine Motor Scooter Company. I went in and tested the 49 cc and the 125 cc and decided on the Buddy 125 series Italia. I am a sucker for things’ green. I figured I will probably only be in this buying situation once in my lifetime. (Even though my son accused me of stopping for a yellow light recently as a way of sacrificing a second car to rear end demolition!) I ride Buddy to work and on errands. I strapped a small basket (my neighbor calls it my Toto basket) to the rear rack allowing me to carry a few groceries (plus there is storage under the seat).

I have experienced a steep learning curve with the scooter. I was terrified the first times I rode it. In fact, I would sit on it in my driveway gathering my courage to head down the hill and out into traffic. But now two months later, I find myself scheming for opportunities to ride Buddy. Tomorrow, I need to take one of the cars in for electrical repairs so I probably cannot ride Buddy. Yet, tomorrow is supposed to be a fantastic fall day to be followed by a day of deteriorating weather. I need to be practical. I want to ride Buddy!

I can't say what is right for you but I am having a great time - commuting just got a lot more fun.

to be continued ...

captivated

2007-11-16T21:04:00.000-07:00

I am thoroughly enjoying my scooter these days. Warm weather still embraces us most days although I saw a news article asking:

"Would we be buried in snow next week?"

It is not as if I don’t notice the beautiful skies on the way to and from work in the car, but on the scooter my senses are overwhelmed. Tonight it was breathtaking. I hurried home to try and catch a photo or two. Little did I know that 20 miles away my 19-year-old son had pulled over on his way home to take photos of the same incredible sky from a slightly different perspective.

Riverside Cemetery on Veteran's Day, 2007

2007-11-12T21:36:00.000-07:00

stepping into the past - Civil War Veterans

Denver skyline in the distance

The stone markers are not in even rows like more recent military graves - different heights, twisted this way or that, some straight, some leaning...

So many stories are told while walking and reading the remembrances - wondering about the rows of "Unknown US Soldiers" there are so many...

Melvin died a prisoner of war at age 23

life has gone on without them

the Queen's last hurrah

2007-11-08T22:40:00.001-07:00

Trying to capture the beauty of the Emerald Queen Maple wearing the last of her fall coat. By this time tomorrow, the leaves will all have fallen away, revealing our Winter Queen.

gaining perspective but not "growing up"

2007-11-05T06:47:00.000-07:00

Pat surveys the newly raked front yard

Things are looking up. It is hard to stay depressed with the beautiful fall leaves and deep blue sky and those last warm days before winter hits us hard. One recent fun time was a three day stretch when I went to see one of my favorite musicians, Eric Johnson, perform. I saw him in Beaver Creek at the Vilar Center, in Denver at the Soiled Dove Underground and at the Fox Theater in Boulder. My friend and fellow Eric Johnson enthusiast, Lois, flew in from Minnesota to stay with me and go to the concerts. On the second night, we really lucked out and were given backstage passes. We had our photos taken with Eric and thoroughly enjoyed the whole experience. I just sent the photo to a young friend. Her comment was, " you look like a hippie" I had to laugh - for several reasons. (1) I hated the way my hair looked in the photo so much that I went to the hairdresser the next week and had it shortened and permed! Honestly, I was alarmed that Eric's hair looked better than mine. Call me old fashioned. (2) I wasn't insulted by being called a hippie - because I grew up in those hippie days and so in some ways, I am one!

At age 54, I have first hand knowledge of those times.

I love being this age - it is wonderful to have some perspective on life.

Pat surveys the leaf -covered front yard the next morning!

walking on eggshells

2007-10-26T22:21:00.000-06:00

Many highs and lows in the last weeks. It is almost more than I can remember.

Three incredible days of Eric Johnson concerts in the company of my friend Lois.
Work issues.
Joy and pain in my young adult sons.
More work issues.
Travel to Hawaii
Reorganization at work.

Sudden death of my beloved pet, Wiskerz.

Time to take a deep breath and re-center.
I have been reading a lot and listening to music and immersing myself in books of photography and reading all of my old posts about him.

So many funny habits had he

I have decided to plant a tree in honor of Wiskerz - he loved his back yard and his spirit will nourish the new life.

The house is so quiet without him.

first time

2007-10-15T11:03:00.000-06:00

people-watching on Hapuna Beach near Kohala, Hawaii

warp & weft – that subtle fabric of life

2007-10-11T23:09:00.000-06:00

After walking away from that glorious show of sunrise, I am surprised that my eyes are not blinded by the glare of the vibrant colors I have just seen. The wavy lines of the dried grasses

leading-this-way-and-that-way

draw my attention to the riot of subtle colors and textures. This view and these colors are as fleeting as the sunrise, this time after summer and before the

wind-and-cold-and-snow

draw out the life and flatten the texture

this is their time to shine.

All in that little distance between the lake and the parking lot.

drifting

2007-10-10T22:22:00.000-06:00

I don’t care how many times I watch the sun rise, it is magic when little patches of pink appear out of nowhere and streak across the sky.

I feel somewhat adrift with no purpose right now – waiting for the current to give me direction. Or should I listen to my inner thoughts and chart a course to ……

First I think I will join my sister, step mom and 84-year-old father in Hawaii for some fun and relaxation. This will be my first trip there since I fell under the spell of photography. I wonder what I will see.

caught in the act

2007-09-19T21:05:00.000-06:00

A lot has happened in the last two weeks. I have helped my sons get settled into college in Boulder. On one trip up there, my car was hit from behind and the insurance company totaled it. It worked out for the best since they offered me a fair price for it. I am at a point where I can start cutting back on the number of cars that I maintain. So…what did I decide to do? I have been thinking of buying a motor scooter for several years and I finally did it!

Today is day two of commuting to work on my scooter. I am not the bravest soul on earth; frankly I was terrified when I test-drove it and again when I took it out for the first few rides. I am taking it slow and easy and it is getting easier and easier. The next challenge will be to get prepared with the right clothes for cold weather commuting since I plan to ride it most days except when the roads are icy or snow-covered. Did I mention that it is a blast? I know it is dangerous, however, I am one bundle of defensive driving. I just assume that everyone else on the road doesn’t see me AND is out to kill me at the same time. I live very close to work and I can stick to neighborhood roads all the way there.

This morning I headed out with tripod bungeed to the rear rack and took my sunrise photos on the way to work. I consider myself the world’s worst bird photographer. However, this morning the geese gave me chance after chance to catch them in flight. I like this image – even if one goose got cut off! If you look at the largest size, you can even see that one of the geese had his mouth open – caught in the act of “honking.” I never get bored watching these amazing birds.

farewell to the Bosque

2007-09-11T23:39:00.000-06:00

My last day in Albuquerque was July 23, 2007. I got up early as I have done every day for the past year to take sunrise photographs. Being rather a creature of habit, I headed down to the Bosque alongside the Montano Bridge. I walked down to the river on the north side of the bridge. A well-worn path takes you most of the way and then the Bosque opens up to the burn recovery area with weeds that are a good five feet tall in places. Wading through the thicket of scratchy vegetation, I found a spot very close to the water’s edge.
The ground is a maze of downed tree limbs and trunks cut off at the base, a kind of minefield hidden from view.

The color of the sunrise spreads out across the water. Almost immediately, I hear the familiar tail slap of a beaver. It is always startlingly loud, especially as it echoes across the water. The beaver is easy to spot, with his body about 2/3 of its length above the water surface as he makes his way down river.
Finding a submerged bar, he sits and chews on branches.

I remember working out in the Bosque when I first heard that sound. It startled the heck out of me, not an unusual response when working out in the middle of nowhere all by oneself. I watched the beaver eat for several minutes, impressed with how at home he appeared in the middle of all of the vibrant water.
It seemed a fitting end to my adventure.

tail end of a project

2007-09-01T21:01:00.000-06:00

I am headed into the the 12th month of my one year (365 days) of sunrise photography. I have taken this project seriously yet I am of the philosophy that while I will take a sunrise photo EVERY day, life has a way of interferring. I embrace the knowledge that some days are better than others - MUCH better.

When I first started this project, I was especially enthralled by the hour before sunrise. I got out while it was still very dark. This allowed me to see an incredible light display as the sky turned its many shades of color by the time the sun actually rose above the horizon. Lately, I have pushed the envelope in the other direction, allowing some of my photos to be taken well after the sun rose. My work in Albuquerque really necessitated this as we were driving to our work sites at sunrise and my personal photography project was not the number one priority!!

The last two mornings, I have gotten out early again and it touches me to see these dark midnight blues skies above the intense peach color of the horizon. My favorite thing to do when I first get out of bed in the morning is to check how much light is out there in the direction of sunrise AND to look for the presence of clouds. Clouds in the morning make for a much more interesting sunrise and morning sky. Just like life, as I approach the end, I will make one last push to see new and different sunrises.

sunrise and the morning star

2007-08-31T23:46:00.000-06:00

greeting the dawn

2007-08-27T10:59:00.000-06:00

Sunrise at Great Sand Dunes National Park, Thursday August 23, 2007

hide-and-seek

2007-08-19T07:39:00.001-06:00

Back to Belmar Park and some photos of Kountze Lake. The drenched vegetation added an extra chill to the already cool air. I walked towards a cottonwood out on an island that was filled with cormorants, sitting quietly in branches. One flew off to an unknown location while the rest stayed.

I watched as I heard the honking of a flock of geese approaching and flying overhead to land with great splashing reverie across the lake.

As I headed back to the car, I came up rather close to a Great Blue Heron. Herons are notoriously shy. They NEVER stick around for you to photograph easily. This fellow was the exception. I kept creeping closer and closer and he just kept walking about looking for food. He even played hide-and-seek behind the willows.

Today I am off on another adventure – a week at Great Sand Dunes National Park for some work.

Photo Friday: Old

2007-08-16T23:19:00.000-06:00

just a little hint of things to come

back to work - grrrrrr

2007-08-13T08:07:00.000-06:00

taken yesterday morning on my walk around downtown Denver just after sunrise

This morning at the lake, most of the geese were sitting quietly on the water, not making their usual ruckus. It was so peaceful that I decided to join them....sort of!

There is a place at the end of the lake where the water comes in that is lined with boulders. You can walk down them to the edge of the water and sit almost at "goose level" I am always careful when I walk on these big rocks - I have slipped and almost fallen many a time on the ice that accumulates in the cracks and pockets when it is cold. You've heard of black ice on the roads. Rocks can have the same thing - it is a very good idea to avoid it here!!

So I spent a peaceful morning shoot - watching the colors change - not trying to decide where to be - just being here!

Back at home I notice a very common feeling - why do I always feel alert and ready to face all of my weekend chores - NOW THAT IT IS MONDAY & TIME TO GO BACK TO WORK??? Does anyone else feel that way?

Which way should I go?

2007-08-11T21:59:00.000-06:00

Some mornings when I arrive at the lake, it is totally quiet and the surface of the water is as smooth as glass. I may hear geese somewhere across the lake or see a few lines of current and varying shades of color in the distance. But it seems almost as if Mother Nature is holding her breath in anticipation of the beauty that is about to unfold.

This morning was quiet; I saw no one for the first minutes. However still the air seemed, the surface of the lake was crisscrossed with lines of motion. How could that be with the air so still? Unlike some mornings, there were many geese riding the current, arranged in lines stretching out across the entire lake surface.

It seems as if the lake has an energy of its own.

A peach glow stretched out across the horizon and I could anticipate an approaching intense color in the bands of gray clouds. At 1.2 miles around, it is not possible to be everywhere around the lake for a good photo angle when the color is at its best. Every morning is a game of which way should I go? You may see me hurrying west with a brilliant sunrise behind me as I rush to a spot that I know will be best – or - possibly off to the east to carefully descend those old remnant steps to the lake surface for a view of sunrise glow on the surface of the water with the lavender sky above the front range mountains in the background.

For you see, there really is something special about every view of the lake.

going with the flow of the day

2007-08-05T22:12:00.001-06:00

It was one of those mornings when one thing led to another. I drove to a park that overlooks the Denver skyline. The sunrise seemed gray at first and a possible wash-out but I summoned some patience and finally, the clouds put on a beautiful display.

Instead of heading home right after sunrise like I usually do, I decided to take photos of some buildings that I have had my eye on for some time. One place was an old brick tower/smokestack surrounded by the newer hospital. I am a little nervous about photographing when I am not working under the cloak of darkness. As I was walking around taking photos, a man approached me and asked if he could help me. It seemed like a strange question since I was clearly taking photos. I told him that I was just taking photos and asked him if he had a problem with that. From his response I guess you could say that I didn’t make a good first impression. My question to him came out much more defensive than I had intended. I guess I blew that first chance!! He just walked away with no further comment.

I wandered around another building and saw that I was taking photos of an old hospital built in 1939 that was now part of the newer hospital complex. On the front were three panels of painted murals, now almost completely faded/deteriorated to just faint outlines of people. My curiosity was quite aroused. Who painted these murals and why had they been allowed to deteriorate to such a sad state? I waited for the morning light to shine on all three before leaving for home.

On the way home, I noticed a big red double-decker bus advertising, “Party-Buses” I laughed because this bus was so run down and seedy looking. Now would you want to rent a party bus based on this??

At home I did a little Internet searching and found that Louise Emerson Ronnebeck painted my murals in 1940. These and most others of hers have not survived. I found reference to a biographical portrait of her and emailed the journal to request a copy. Within 10 minutes I received an electronic copy of the story of Louise’s life. Talk about instant gratification! I am still curious though – I want to know more.

I’ve come to the end of my weekend, happy with the experiences I had yet just ever so weighed down by all of the chores that I didn’t get done. Oh well – that is what lists are for…

Green Mountain from Golden Hill Cemetery

2007-08-04T23:28:00.000-06:00

I am spending my days and week-ends revisiting old haunts for sunrise and getting my house in order. You see what is like leaving your home in the care of an 18 year old boy for two months! My home really didn't fare too poorly but there is still a lot of cleaning and de-cluttering.

We are entering a little monsoon weather phase. Thunder storms and gentle persistent rain are a welcome change. Extra moisture in the air results in beautiful clouds - all day long.

A refreshing time for the soul.

Photo Friday - Wet

2007-08-02T23:30:00.000-06:00

tiny treasures adorning a sandbar in the Rio Grande

(must get on hands and knees to enjoy!)

dragon boat festival

2007-07-29T21:57:00.000-06:00

Today I went to the Colorado Dragon Boat Race festival at Sloan's Lake in Denver. I have wanted to go for years - I never seem to get around to it. All of a sudden, here it was and I decided to go and take photos. The festival always seems so colorful.

best seat in the house

It wasn't at all what I expected! The whole weekend was rather cloudy and threatened to rain off and on. Expecting lots of color, I was surprised at what I found. For me the beauty was in the sheer physical effort of the crews as they raced to grab the flag at the finish line, the enthusiasm of the spectators and .....the clouds. The color of the boats and the crews was reduced to shapes against the backdrop of spectacular skies. I posted my favorites on flickr.

bringing in Mooo Dragon

peaceful morning after the storm

2007-07-29T00:41:00.000-06:00

a new phase - starting over

2007-07-25T21:09:00.000-06:00

I am adjusting to being back at home. Two months is a long time to be away. I am going through my photos and savoring all of the adventures. Sitting in an office in front of a computer is a bit of a shock - not to mention the schedule change. I am thoroughly used to a nap in the afternoon.

My first sunrise back home was a little experience in near disaster. Not a disaster of any significant proportions but it shook me up none the less! I drove down to one of my favorite lakes and started to take photos of a deep rich sunrise looking over the lake. It felt SO great to be back at a lake - there are so few in Albuquerque!) But then, the camera wouldn't turn on - YIKES - was my perfect record of daily sunrise photos for almost a year to sink here on my first day back home??? I had left my battery at home - and I wasn't even sure where. I ran to my car and drove home (rather impatiently.) Luckily. I found the battery right away and headed up to Top of the World Park where I captured a gorgeous sunrise disk. Thank goodness I had a few minutes to spare and thank goodness that the sunrises here are often so colorful AND go through so many phases - especially on this morning!

I feel welcome at home. One door closes - another opens.

just for the sake of beauty - a gate I enjoyed seeing as I drove by in Albuquerque

Back Home - buried in photos

2007-07-24T19:15:00.000-06:00

Jackson

Tonic

My adventure is over and now is the time to sort and organize my photos from New Mexico. I need to do this quickly because I have people waiting for them.
I will not disappoint them!

Besides work adventure, I had lots of family time and it was good. Besides my family, I got to enjoy their pets.

My Dad's dog Jackson loves to sit in your lap and try to lick you on the mouth. It takes an action-freezing photo to show what an advantage he has!

My sister's cat Tonic is wild - he even sleeps with wild abandon - here tucked in between the top of two fences. I think he likes the tight space and the proximity to the mulberry tree (so full of birds).

tarantula!

2007-07-19T21:07:00.000-06:00

Let's see - cicadas, toads, what's next?

He was very polite and allowed me to photograph him without any sudden moves that would have sent me running!

days wind down

2007-07-18T22:05:00.000-06:00

I am down to the last 2 days of work here along the Rio Grande doing bird surveys. Although I am tired of the hard work and hours we must keep, I am thoroughly enjoying my last days. The river that I was afraid to cross in May and June is now a pleasure to stroll in - shallow and cool - as we make our way from one end of our site to the other. It sure beats crashing through the Russian olive.

Yesterday, I came upon this Woodhouse toad sitting on a sandbar among some coyote willow. He sat there calmly as I dug through my pack for my camera. He didn't even seem too rattled by my "man-handling." On the other hand, I was thoroughly rattled when I almost stepped on a rattlesnake about one hour earlier. I didn't even consider taking HIS photo - you will just have to use your imagination!

Cidadas - everywhere you look

2007-07-12T21:32:00.000-06:00

The woods are full of the sound of cicadas. It is so loud as to be deafening at times. Today, it seems there are cidada shells on every possible surface from the bark of the cottonwood trees to the dead downed branches on the ground.

Everywhere

sunrise after the rain

2007-07-05T21:47:00.000-06:00

Summer heat has settled in. Now it seems like the desert that it is. Being on the river early morning is sometimes a break from the desert. But when it heats up, there is no escape. Yesterday there were widely scattered afternoon storms. Some areas got between one and two inches of rain. At my sister’s house we got a couple of sprinkles. At Los Lunas, where we worked today, they must have gotten more. When I got dropped off, the sun was rising over fields covered in fog. All of the plants were dripping in water. Soon I was soaking wet – just another day in the bosque!

One of my favorite parts of each work day is that moment when I break out of the forest and step out onto a sandbar in the river.

Ginny

2007-06-28T22:19:00.000-06:00

(sculpture by Cecil Apple)

artistry in nature

2007-06-25T21:34:00.000-06:00

I am awed by the beauty of these standing dead giants. Although past, they support much life, their limbs full of birds and insects who in turn owe some of their lives to the old cottonwoods. Although strong looking, the ground is littered with fallen giants and I walk carefully around them respecting their eventual fall-to-earth by the power of the wind.

skies over Albuquerque

2007-06-22T22:11:00.001-06:00

Before I headed down to Albuquerque, I was worried about the prospect of living in the desert. It will never be my choice of places to live. I miss the mountains and the lakes. However, the skies are breathtaking. My sister’s house has a flat roof and I can climb out the window to take photos. Last night, the sky was totally spectacular. I got out on the roof just in time to catch the end of the show.

from the levee to the river

2007-05-27T23:32:00.000-06:00

I haven't dropped off the face of the earth. My new temporary job is rather demanding - in a physical way. I get up at 3:30 a.m. and return home about 10 hours or so later. I eat then I nap then I get up and make dinner. Then I try to get to bed early only to begin the day again. Weekends are spent trying to recoup some of the physical energy that I expend during the week. The job is one physical challenge after another. All of my time is spent between the levee and the river, in strip of land that can be narrow to wide. I have to look everywhere for the illusive bird. The terrain is flat but it is covered with dense stickery shrubs and trees, choking woody vines and "mountains of dead" (convoluted masses of downed cottonwood, Russian olive and tamarisk trees) that seems impenetable. That is when you will hear me pleading "I just want out of here!!" Yet we have to work our way through this vegetation. I think I am actually getting better at navigating through this mass but I still find myself completely boxed in at times with no where to go. I crawl, I climb, I crass through stickery Russian Olive with my gloved hands protecting my eyes. It is crazy. I am bruised and scratched. Badges of honor. If you aren't - you are suspected of not doing your job!!

This is an incredible change from my desk job but one that I love as a field biologist at heart. It is not for everyone and there are times when it is too much for me. It is hard to explain but I see things every day that keep me coming back for more. I tried to post the following a couple of weeks ago but then I got busy with my Dad's health problems. He is home now and doing very well. We have all been pampering him with attention!

2 Weeks Ago:

I am just about to begin my second full week of work looking for willow flycatchers here in the wilds of the Rio Grande south of Albuquerque. My days have been a whirl of looking, crashing through dense brush, trying to cover 2 miles of terrain, wondering how it can take so long to cover all of it in about 4.5 hours of time. My sleep schedule is totally hosed, I should be sleeping now - I have to to get up in less than 4 hours.

As soon as I arrived here, my 84 year old Dad had to undergo open heart surgery. I am so thankful to be here to help in his recovery. It is truly a blessing. This temporary job opportunity came out of nowhere and was very unlikely. My first thought at accepting it was the idea that I would be able to spend more time with my Dad. Little did I know that it would be so precious. This all just reinforces my belief that the universe offers each of us exactly what we need. We just need to be open to the possibilities.

I have been taking photos everyday but have had little time to even download them all.

Back to the present:

I am SLOWLY going through my photos. I take my camera everyday and hope to document exactly what our experience is like. I have many stories to tell....but for now I need to catch up on my sleep!

new challenges - new excitement

2007-05-17T18:19:00.000-06:00

I have travelled many miles since that dusting of snow. I am away from home and settling into a new temporary job. I drove down to Albuquerque on Mother's Day with my best buddy, Wiskerz. He took the trip very well and we are both trying to get used to the new setting and schedule. I am prone to lack of sleep and this new job is going to challenge that. We start work (on site) each day by sunrise and travel to the site can take up to an hour and a half! Tomorrow, we leave the house at 4:30 a.m.

This week has been composed of training, both classroom and field. I have done a lot of vegetation field work in the past, spending long days outside describing and characterizing vegetation. I have never spent much time studying wildlife. I would say that wildlife biologists get down and dirty more so than we plant biologists. Our first field experience involved heading straight into a cattail marsh and then into a flooded willow thicket, a place where the bird I will be looking for all summer thrives.

So you could say that my first field meeting was conducted in knee-deep water!

No telling what you might see - what fun!!

"dusting" of snow

2007-05-06T20:40:00.000-06:00

It rained most of the day yesterday. Sometime overnight it must have started snowing. I awoke to a rather heavy dusting of snow – if you can call anything this wet a dusting! Everything is a riot of green, which takes on a special look when it is mixed with white. The morning dawned bright and sunny with lots of ground fog and low clouds. Humidity – not something we get in excess.

By mid-morning today, the clouds moved in and it rained all afternoon. It is almost as if the snow and the sun never put in an appearance.

Luminosity

2007-05-04T21:59:00.000-06:00

Crown Hill Park

I have been very busy lately getting loose ends tied up at work and getting ready to leave for 10 weeks. Sunrise sneaks up on me every morning. I usually head out the door no more than 30 minutes before sunrise and sometime a lot later than that. In some ways it has become routine. Yet the second I stop the car and open the door, it is like stepping into a world of great beauty. Driving up the last few times, I have seen a luminosity from the water when I see it a couple of blocks away. No matter how many times I take the picture looking across Crown Hill Lake, the beauty transforms me.

The range of colors of light, from the intense pinks and reds to the subtle pinks and grays of the clouds are just breathtaking. If there is huge variety in the sky, it is also reflected in the water. I look for the masses of pink and the individual reflections of the clouds, whatever their color. I see the hint of white in a rippled pattern just beyond the cattails.

Besides color, I watch the surface of the water for levels of tranquility. One area might be smooth as glass whereas another may have the concentric rings left after a jumping fish leaps into the air.

When I look at this image I see all of this complexity. No matter what tensions I might be carrying around, after seeing this, I am at peace.

This morning I ran into an old friend, a woman I met here. I also spoke with a man who is familiar by sight only. He suggested that I get some photos of the cormorants at the other end of the lake. I have not yet seen cormorants on this lake. It is exciting to imagine this possibility. I told him that I got some beautiful photos this morning and that I could certainly understand why so many people walk here everyday. He said he knew I loved the lake because he sees me here every day. I had to smile at this. In truth, I am not here everyday but I completely understand the people who are – they know the secret!

shadows and light

2007-05-01T23:16:00.000-06:00

I'm getting behind posting some of my best photos. Lately it has been a feast of beauty. Yesterday started out seemingly average until I discovered the new morning sun through the fragile young cottonwood leaves.

This morning, I could feel the lure of the water at Crown Hill Park as soon as I glimpsed it from down the road. Then this afternoon there was the bonus of dramatic skies before and after some big thunderstorms.

drenched in pink

2007-04-29T19:17:00.000-06:00

(Common Chokecherry)

Wasn’t I just talking about snow? In contrast, we have reached 80º F both yesterday and today. Many of our fruit trees and native flowering shrubs are at their peak of display.

(three cormorants - underwater!!)

Yesterday, I returned to a city lake that I haven’t been to since a frozen morning this past winter. Sloan’s Lake is home to many cormorants. They are fun to watch and frustrating to try and photograph. As soon as you fix your camera on them, they dive completely under the water. Sloan’s Lake is a much bigger lake than most of the others that I photograph regularly. Soon it will be open for boating.

(city reflections)

This morning I returned to Addenbrook Park where the geese made a point to swim by and check me out. Both mornings were drenched in pink. It is a notable change from earlier in the year when these cloudless mornings tended to have rather pale colorless sunrise.

(Canada geese at Addenbrook Park)

I am getting close to leaving for my work detail in Albuquerque. I will relocate there for 10 weeks. My job will be on a crew conducting endangered Southwestern Willow Flycatcher surveys on the Rio Grande. We will walk the riparian area on both sides of the river where we will listen and look for these birds. I have never done one of these surveys before but I am very excited to have the experience. We will work the hours that the birds are active: from sunrise to about 11:00 a.m. Can you believe that? I will be on the Rio Grande for sunrise every weekday for 10 weeks. Since my background is in field biology, I know that this will be challenging (being out in the elements) and that I will see things that you just don’t get to see when you get out in nature for just a little bit of time.

I am going to live with my sister and she is letting me bring my cat, Wiskerz. My dad also lives in town, so I will have the opportunity to spend extra time with him. It will be hard to leave my home and my sons but I think that they are quite capable of being on their own AND taking care of home! It won't be hard to leave my office!! (did I say that??)

Just think of the opportunities for sunrise photography??

aftermath

2007-04-26T23:56:00.000-06:00

morning after the storm

petals litter the ground

The aftermath of a spring snowstorm - the panoramic snow-covered front range that runs north and south as far as the eye can see.

second morning after the storm - Front Range still covered with snow

winter is back - temporarily!

2007-04-24T20:43:00.000-06:00

After an evening of ominous clouds loaded with tornado watches, I woke up this morning to heavy driving rain. We don’t get this kind of rain very often. My drenched morning photos (not to mention my drenched clothes) are testimony to the wimpy umbrella that I was trying to stay dry under.

It kept flipping inside out – outside in.

Holding it was a little like wrestling a tiger.

Try to imagine that I was taking photos with a Holga.

By this evening, the wind whipped rain has turned to snow. Imagine giant snowflakes swirling all around. I am hoping that it stays light and that my apple tree, now in bloom, is spared.

Spring unfolds slowly

2007-04-22T10:08:00.000-06:00

Saturday was a beautiful start to the weekend – a blue-gray-pink sunrise at Crown Hill Park. The water was glassy-smooth except for the waves created by the ducks. It is so smooth that it is almost hard to find a focus that doesn’t look out-of-focus.

I have been spending my spare time (on those rare occasions when I don’t have a camera in hand or am not managing files!!) getting my house in order. I will be heading out of town in a few short weeks for a work detail that lasts until the end of July. I will do a post soon on exactly what I will be up to – no one would guess!! I will have lots of opportunities to photograph new scenery so I am looking forward to it. But between now and then – YIKES! I will be leaving my home in the care of my 18-year-old son with some help from my 22-year-old son (when he is not in Japan or Hungary!). That isn’t as brave as it sounds – my 18 year old is a good kid who is not at all wild. I gave my children all the rope they needed to hang themselves while growing up so they learned to set their own boundaries. However, I am not expecting miracles in terms of yard care or house cleanliness!!

This morning at Addenbrook Park, there was a bank of clouds that hid any bright sunrise colors. It was still beautiful – the intense green grass and the wind-swept water. As I walked around the lake, a man with his dog stopped to tell me that he sees my photos on the Internet and thinks they are beautiful. That really made my day!! Afterwards, I realized I should have asked him where on the Internet he sees them!! I do have them all over the place. You just have to know where to look!!

sometimes rain brings out the best

2007-04-18T22:45:00.000-06:00

I am in the habit of taking my camera with me everywhere. Yesterday, suddenly I found myself in Boulder with about 50 minutes to spare while waiting to have lunch with my older son. So where did I go? It was cool, cloudy and damp. So I went to Columbia Cemetery, just a few blocks from where I was waiting. I was struck by how much lichen was growing on the bases of many of the headstones. When it is damp like this, the lichens plump up in a display of vibrant colors. It is a sharp contrast to the generally very muted colors that you see in a cemetery!

embrace and celebrate

2007-04-17T21:02:00.000-06:00

The snow never showed up. I am not unhappy about that. Last night we had RAIN - precious rain. We just don't get much rain here;

it is a special feast for the senses when we do.

Many of our trees here are being sensible and have not leafed out yet. So I am enjoying the last days of seeing their beautiful winter shapes. I always see winter trees as sending out their branches in infinite patterns of embracing the world around them,

not a bad way to go through life.

winter may return with a vengeance

2007-04-12T21:35:00.000-06:00

sunrise reflected on my car roof

As I write this, we are under a winter storm warning. All day there was talk of over a foot of snow overnight and into the morning. Airlines began canceling flights scheduled for tomorrow in anticipation of this heavy snowstorm. Now they are backtracking and the estimate is for 7 inches. Whatever we get – it will be more than I care to see! I did have the feeling this morning that I might not see these colors again for a couple days.

faded but not forgotten

I wonder what I will wake up to.....

winter lingers

2007-04-08T18:30:00.000-06:00

It has been a snowy weekend – until now. Sunday evening and now the sun is shining! I spent a good part of the day cooking a delicious, yet simple dinner. Both of my boys were home so we had a real “sit-down” dinner, a very rare occurrence here.

This morning when I headed out to the lake,
it was snowing very lightly. By the time I left the lake, after sunrise, it was snowing steadily. It was quite beautiful with the distant shore of the lake just a faint impression through the fog and snow. There was a coating of clear ice on most of the plants but with the dark overcast lighting, you had to be there to appreciate it. There were few people out but I did chat with one elderly man and his dog. He wanted to share just how beautiful it was with the fresh snow cover.

There are just a few remnants of snow and LOTS of green.