Monday, April 10, 2006

Words to Walk In

Why don’t I follow my own advice? In my last post, I ranted about how it is the things we don’t do in life that we regret. I wanted to go to ev Brown’s memorial in Austin this evening. But I had a million reasons why I couldn’t go. I did choose to be with them in spirit.

Since ev was a virtual friend, I felt that it was understandable if I went to my favorite spot and participated in her memorial from a distance. I hiked to my mountaintop and was meditating at the same time my fellow friends of ev were meeting at a park in Austin, Texas. I would love to report that I felt the overwhelming presence of ev but I would say that her spirit resides inside of me. I felt focused and saw a rainbow of red, gold and white colors in my mind’s eye as I found the calm inside. When I opened my eyes, the scene around me was sparkling and clear. This breathtaking quality to the landscape is rather common when I open my eyes after meditating. I sat down on my rock, ground-level view. The sun was low in the sky washing the ground with a backlit sheen. The new plant growth is hiding under the wind-whipped remnants from last year. The blue grama eyelashes are thin and extra curly as they dance in the wind. While gazing at this beauty, I started to notice hundreds of shimmering gold threads, attached here and there to the dried stalks, undulating with the wind like the casting of a fly fisherman. I blinked and cleared my eyes and they were still there, the work of many spiders, no doubt. I took a step towards them and reached my hand down to touch, knowing that I would feel only air. In all of the many years I have studied nature, I have never seen anything like this – another world really.

Soon the sun set over the mountains and I headed down the trail. The white puffy clouds turned to a bright pink and then finally dark gray. Now, I won’t say that it was ev’s spirit that guided me to see these beautiful sights this evening. But in a broader sense, it is her influence. If you go to Scrumptious Monkey and cursor down the page on the left side, you will see:

• fall in love with everything and everybody
• cause forgiveness to be stronger than resentment
• surrender, with grace, to change
• find risk more rewarding than fear
• pursue what you love doing
• immerse yourself in the present
• trust your insights and act on them
• see and celebrate the genius in others
• remain in a state of awe and wonder
• have adventure govern your life, rather than withdrawal
• seek more wisdom
• laugh at yourself often
• see beauty everywhere
• give generously... receive gratefully!

She sent me these words some time ago. More recently, I found the copy that I had printed out and sent it to her, asking her if she knew the author. She really believed in these words and added them to the side of her blog to keep them close by at all times. A virtual memorial is being set up for ev which will gather together much of her stories and poetry. Many heartfelt thanks to ev’s sister Susan and family for this undertaking. It will be greatly appreciated by her MANY friends.


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