Friday, December 02, 2005

Open to Blessings

I woke up feeling very tired this morning, saying to myself…go back to sleep. But the lure of the sunrise is irresistible. I can check what is in store just by looking out my kitchen window. There were lots of clouds, so I made a big mug of coffee and headed up to Top of the World Park. Actually, right next to Top of the World Park is the high school track. That is where I set up my tripod. What more could you ask for, level ground and open vistas?

I think I actually like the hour before sunrise better than any other time of the day. Once the sun is up, I think of it as more of a physical presence. I bask in its’ warmth. I know, I know…I do love to stand on the top of Green Mountain and meditate with the radiance of the new sun in my face, my eyes closed, deep within myself. But those quickly passing minutes leading up to the sunrise seem like something not of this world, so beautiful that I can hardly stand it, so beautiful that the words to describe it are nearly impossible to grasp even though I try.

When I see other people’s photos of the sunrise I feel both like I was there and also amazement that yes, sunrise is just as beautiful elsewhere as it is here. But when I am watching my own sunrise, I feel that is it all a show for me, maybe because I am there, open and ready to receive it. When my younger son was little and we were out driving when the moon was rather full, he would insist that the moon was following us. My older son used to laugh at him. But now, I think he was right, the moon was shining for him because he was there to receive it.

Now if I could only rise above my physical failings. The saying, too soon old, too late smart, keeps going through my mind. After feeling so good about what I saw this morning and how well the photography went, I realized that I had the camera on the wrong setting. This comes after accidentally erasing the only two images I had of one of those OMG sunrises up in the mountains on my way to Echo Lake last weekend. All I can say is those are images burned into my soul, and I am sorry but I cannot share them!


At 3:54 PM, Anonymous Sarah said...

Hey Ptelea,

Love your post. It inspired me. Thank you so much :) I am walking around such concepts these days and love to see someone who shares with me similar thoughts...


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